Am I Selfish?


Taking care of yourself is as important as taking care of someone else

Are we ‘selfish’ if we do not want to give up our time to charity? If that time is already spoken for? I was made to feel very uncomfortable that I would not help out at a charity fundraiser. I had plans for the weekend I did not want to cancel but I was very much made to feel that it was selfish of me not to want to help.

I know the word has negative connotations, ‘being selfish is wrong’, ‘you have to help others first and so on and so forth. I do not agree, looking after yourself is important, if you do not, how can you help others. People throw the term ‘selfish’ around , I feel this is done when they are not getting what they want or expect. No I am not talking about ignoring the needs of others but finding a balance and being Ok with taking care of yourself. I should not have to justify what I give my time and money to and what I choose not to. There has to be a cut off point and I think it has to be a personal decision. I support a couple of charities that offer education to women, I do this by some funds but mainly by giving 2 hours a week to teach a class of women to read. I do not have to shout it to the world, it is something I can do and have the time for at this moment. That might change, I am not selfish if I need to change with the circumstances in my life. I need this weekend away to recharge my batteries otherwise I will be flagging emotionally and physically very soon. I should not have to defend my decisions and I am not going to.

What does Charity mean? I cannot answer that for others but I would be interested in how others view it. Does it begin at home? My answer is yes, then you can start to radiate out. You cannot turn ( well I cannot) a blind eye to the problems this world has but not everyone has the resources (time or money) to give. I like to think I use my social media networking to let others know what is going on in the world but even there you have to be careful not to overwhelm others with your view of what need and charity should be.

Taking care of oneself is not selfish it is common sense

Is it charity to give a friend money when they are struggling or better to help them find a management plan that will help eradicate the problem, either by a budgeting plan, or loan, you can read more about loans here. Giving time to listen and advise, is to me charity, where just handing over money is pushing the problem to one side. not that the person requesting is always in tune with what you are suggesting, it is not easy to ask a friend for money. Being aware of that and offering to help sort it out is what I am about in that way I like to think I contribute and am not ‘selfish’.

I feel better for getting that all out, might be a bit jumbled but I think you can see where I am coming from, let me know what your thoughts are on charity and giving.